February 14, 2013 by Rex
The creaks and cracks as I move around in the morning. The stiffness of my body and the Frankenstein type walking out to the barn to fee Eva in the morning. The pains in the lower back from standing on blacktop and working in fixing up the greenhouse. The numbness in the legs because of it as well. The lack of overall energy, especially in the morning half of the day.
I just think of how the growing season for us would be so different if I would get out there every single day and be on top of it all. Instead of ignoring it because I'm in pain and don't want to really deal with it.
How much nicer things could look around here if I were on too of it instead of depending on the kids to up keep things, or hey, even pick up a piece of freaking twine on the ground and put it into the trash.
I know I beat the kids up a LOT for their lack of desire to have things nice around here. But then again, I need, and want to really, lead by example. But how, when it hurts like hell to bend over and pick something up off the ground.
I know there are drugs out there (I was on an anti-inflammatory drug) to make the pain go away. But that doesn't fix the problem. It only covers it up and then there all the pills friends that come along with him in the form of “side-effects.”
So drugs, to me, are not the answer. Not really even a bridge for me. No… I know it's the rehab therapy that I have to find for myself in order to fix this problem over the long haul. And there in lies the problem: “the long haul!”
No, I don't want and instant fix. (Okay, I do, but I also know it's not realistic.) But it's more the set backs that get to me. And the lack of any seeming progression.
I think what,s getting me right now is yesterday's experience, or after experience, from working in the greenhouse. I felt the same old thing from standing so much and all the walking around I did from the shop to the greenhouse.
I was only working in there for a couple hours at most and yet to have the same pains in my back and legs that I've been fighting for the last month…
Well, it's kind of a bummer.